Calculations

Everything is running smoothly as I have planned. My calculations are perfect as they have always been. I am closer to my dream of a perfect future for all the inhabitants of Mugenjou. I am closer to my dream of having a great achievement many people will remember as time passes by. I can now prove to them that we'll be better off without those leaders of VOLTS, though it's really obvious that they were way more powerful than I am... I, a computer-crazed lad of nineteen who's just yearning for a simple change of life in this forsaken city.

I am closer in achieving that dream... our dream.

Yes, I have calculated that you'll be sleeping any minute from now. I have surmised that you'll be asleep due to tired ness on watching over the monitors where we can see how our world, the world we've been wishing for and the world I am trying to perfect, revolves. I've calculated that your hair will be slightly covering your eyes in a way that I hate. I know that I'll be rude to contradict that simple fate the God of Babylon City had destined upon you, but there'll be no way He'll go against this perfect time when I can muse around seeing you peaceful... even more peaceful than you are when your eyes were wide open.

These are the simple calculations that won't involve much change over the fate of Mugenjou, instead it will involve much on my fate... on my thread of fate twirling up with yours.

Once again, my estimation was correct when I heard a slight clank of something metallic hitting the steel floor. I am correct on foreseeing the fact that you're still wearing it... the necklace that's an exact duplicate of mine. I really had the thought of you liking it - its design and all - so I bought it right away together with another one for myself.

And you moved. I've estimated it already that I placed a pillow behind your head to avoid it from bumping violently against the edge of the steps. Indeed, my predictions were always one hundred percent correct that it seemed like I can foretell the future. Well, at least people claimed that I really can see the future clearly, but it's nothing that I can really be proud of. I am really not proud of it actually because...

You shifted again. You're really like a child when you're asleep: innocent and carefree. The glaring lights of the monitors doesn't suit to light you face well for me to see it. I propped another pillow just below your abdomen to protect the other being that will enjoy the future that I am building using all my strength and skill. I foretell him or her being a happy child and all, cuddling close to your chest, enjoying the warmth it gives off the same way I had stayed close to it one gloomy and weary night when I felt all alone and drained of spirit. Let's call it a fate the God of Babylon City had destined to both of us because I myself had no idea that it will push through and result into something like this-- another being that will bring joy to us four months later if we nurture him very well.

Indeed, gods are really supposed to be kind to their people. I am no god even thought I can see the future very well, and I am thankful that I have a god whom I immensely believe into. I am thankful that there's a god who does make a wish of a simple mortal like me come true... so true that I have nothing more to wish for...

... except for a better, I mean best, city to live in.

I surmised your older brother won't like you having a relationship with me so we decided together that we'll keep it in secret until he or she is born. At least, he or she will grow knowing his or her parents, unlike me who even don't have a first name given since I was born. Besides, having the first name of X is awkward, so awkward even you won't agree with it.

As I have been thinking, I am not proud of having this so-called exceptional talent of seeing the future in advance for little do most people know that I havefailed to calculate the future way back before.

If I am really efficient in telling what will happen next, then why haven't I surmised that you'll be the one I'll be loving for the other half of my life?

If I am really good in calculations,then why haven't I calculated that I'll smile - just now - upon seeing you sleeping here by my side?

It's a queer realization, but it's now that I have understood that not everything in this world will be foretold through calculations... and that leads me to think that...

I could never... and will never ... learn to calculate a man.

That's the greatest misconception that I've had after all these years. I can estimate how things would turn but I couldn't do the same on a man's emotions. Needless to say, I couldn't have the authority to control his feeling the way I could manipulate with fate and destiny through predictions. In fact, even I myself couldn't controlwhat I will feel at a given period of time. Who would have known that I'll fall for this quite naive yet powerful co-member named Kakkei Sakura? And who would have guessed that this love will have its fullness four months later if God would allow?

Everything is running smoothly as I've planned... as I have calculated. I am closer to my dream of a perfect future for all the inhabitants of Mugenjou.

Just a little more, my love. Just a little more...

... or so I thought.

Didn't I say that God is indeed kind? Well then, I'll take that back.

Yes, I've predicted that you'll shift your position just the way you always do, but I didn't know that He'll take our treasure away...

He took our baby away.

I sucked in my breath as dark red blood, the blood which should have been our precious baby... the one whom we're dreaming of a brighter future for, trickled down your leg and stained your bright blue dress. Still, you slept so peaceful, even more peaceful that I feared that you'll be next to be taken away from me.

Please, don't let that be, God. I thought You were kind to mortals like me...

And within all these mishaps, another flaw of my calculations ensued...

...I cried.

- THE END -

AUTHOR'S NOTES: First Getbackers fic featuring a pairing that seemed queer but sweet anyway: MakubeXSakura. Oh yeah, you saw that part when Makubex hugged Sakura? That gave me enough inspiration to do this fic! So, liked it or hated it? Please review it and oh, no flames please. I am just a beginner, you know. ^_^;;